He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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