i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Sober January is a disaster.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
