He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize