Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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