I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
