I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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