Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize