I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
