Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
