I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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