somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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