We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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