imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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