it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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