But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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