so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
