Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
