This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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