I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
