it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize