All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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