Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
