Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
