How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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