I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
