i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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