I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
