You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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