did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
