69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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