we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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