the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
