The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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