i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
