I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
