I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
this is an emotional support booty call
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
