i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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