I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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