Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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