You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
