i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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