I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
