I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Found the puke drawer
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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