what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize