He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
