it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
