i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
