God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
