I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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