i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
