girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
