I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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