Your tits are I can't wait for
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
