It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
