At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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