1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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