Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
