i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
