I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
