i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
