i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
