People in love make me want to vomit
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
