I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
