A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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