ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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