New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
