you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
